Tips about Constructive Feedback
A significant part of living a happy, healthy lifestyle is accountability. A major part of accountability is handling when people tell you that you could be doing something better.
Handling constructive feedback is an integral part of the growth in any area, including fitness. It’s not easy. However, nobody likes to be told they are doing something wrong. It does not feel very comfortable. It’s also tough to give out feedback when you notice someone you care about is lacking. You don’t want to hurt their feelings or risk them giving up entirely.
So, if constructive feedback is essential yet difficult to navigate, how do you learn how to handle it? Like anything valuable, dealing with constructive feedback takes time, practice, and intentional effort to get better.
Whether you are taking it or giving it out, learning how to make feedback constructive helps you make sure everybody in your life – including you – is living up to their full potential. Here are a few tips for accepting and giving constructive feedback.
Accepting Criticism
- Take a deep breath
When somebody starts to tell you that you’re doing something incorrectly, your first instinct is often defense. Shut it down, tell them what they are doing wrong, and admit no fault. But this is not the way to go.
Reacting to feedback in this way does a few things. First, it denies you the opportunity to internalize the feedback and use it to get better. Second, it ensures that the person does not give you more feedback, which is not good.
Instead of reacting with anger, try not to respond at all at first. Fight that first urge to fight. Take a deep breath, listen to what they are saying, then…
- Ask questions
Once you’ve heard what the person has to say, you’ll probably want a little more clarity about the issue they saw, when they saw it, and what they’d recommend.
Ask for specific examples like:
- “If my squat form is a little off, can you show me where the issue is?”
- “Have you seen me do any other exercise with an improper form?”
- “What else should I be doing?”
This ensures that you get the absolute most out of the feedback.
- Ask for a follow-up
Asking for more feedback later is the ultimate test. Nobody wants added criticism. However, this is a great way to improve yourself. You’ll have someone able to tell you that you’ve improved or not concretely.
It helps to hear it respectfully from somebody who cares about your development. It also will make people feel heard and open to accepting feedback from you.
Giving out feedback
- Focus on how to get better
When giving out constructive feedback, the last thing you want to do is drone on about what is going wrong. The person you’re giving feedback to doesn’t want to hear that. It feels much more insulting. Focus on what will improve if they change their habits.
Most of the time, somebody isn’t doing everything wrong. Then, find a way to point out the highlights of a person’s routine. Frame the feedback to include benefits that the person receiving it might see. Give some specific examples of areas that could improve without being overbearing. Point out the opportunities that are available for them instead of the faults that they have.
- Be respectful
This one goes without saying but be a nice person. There’s a place for ‘tough love’ but understand its limits, especially if you aren’t sure if you’re giving feedback to respond to it.
Choose your words carefully. Start by saying something like “I’ve noticed” instead of “you always.” Stay objective and keep your emotions out of this. This is about the person getting better at something.
- Ask if they understand
Not everybody will feel comfortable asking questions about your feedback, so they may not entirely understand what you mean by your feedback. Ask them if they have any questions or if they get what you’re saying.
If they do, great! However, they may want some more clarification. Give it to them with the same kindness and clarity. It may help to show them what you mean by giving an example. Whatever you do, make sure the person doesn’t leave confused about what you meant with your feedback.
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